Beebe and O'Neil

The way you ask for a divorce can set you up for future success

If you're having problems in your marriage, there may come a point when you begin thinking about divorce and look into the divorce process. Getting out of a bad marriage and moving forward isn't always easy, but it may be the best way to improve your situation and live a better life in the future.

One of the first things to consider is that the way you ask for a divorce is important. If you take the right steps, you can set yourself up to move forward successfully. Conversely, if you misstep it can lead to more disagreements and added tension.

Here are five tips for asking for a divorce:

  • Prepare for the conversation: Take the time to really think about what you'll say to your spouse as you discuss divorce and what it means to your future. If you prepare for everything, you never have to worry about anything catching you off guard.
  • Be firm: It's okay if you're gentle in the way you approach divorce, but you need to hold your ground. Your spouse may try to talk you out of moving forward. They may give you every reason in the book to stick with your marriage. If you know divorce is the best answer, stay firm.
  • Protect yourself: If you have any concerns about your safety, such as if your spouse has the tendency to become aggressive, you should ask for a divorce in a public place. Even better, you may want to do so over the phone. It's not ideal, but your safety is priority. Choosing the right time and place for this conversation is an absolute must.
  • Don't discuss the details of your divorce: The first conversation is not the right time to talk about property division, child custody and support, and alimony. There is time for this later on, so stick to the basics up front.
  • Keep it short: There's no reason for this conversation to drag on and on. It's okay to talk things out, but don't belabor the discussion. If this happens, there's a greater chance of a hostile argument.

The way you ask for divorce will impact the way the process unfolds down the road. Focus on the basics at first, with the idea that you'll move into the finer details with the right legal resources at your disposal.

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